How to push through your fear barrier and out of your comfort zone.

surprise, smiley, oh

Identify and avoid barriers that will sabotage your success.

“Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words. Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions. Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits. Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character. Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny.”
Chinese proverb, author unknown

Science tells us that universal consciousness always wants to know more about itself and to express that. The only way it can do that is to have us keep learning and growing.

When you are stuck in a rut, settling for the status quo and not thriving in your life you can be sure that you’re not growing. Having a dream and a goal should point us in a direction towards something that you want. Your dream should not be something you settle for, or what you think you can achieve. Growth occurs when your fantasy lights you up inside and makes you feel alive!

Your dream or goal should cause you to:-

• Fall in love with it, even though you have NO IDEA how to get it! That doesn’t matter at this stage.

• Cause you to get up out of your mundane and stretch.

• Move you forwards with inspiration and a fire in your belly.

Most people when they come face to face with what they perceive as an impossible dream, their worry, doubt, anxiety and fear presents itself.

Often they aren’t used to thinking this way and this stirs up their emotions, which can turn into actions. But they let go of their dream and fall back into the familiar, safety and comfort zone. They’re afraid of what could happen to them, they’re afraid of dreaming in case they don’t have what it takes to succeed. They do this even though their comfort zone is incredibly UNCOMFORTABLE - hence wanting their dream and change so badly.

However, they could choose to push through the fear and doubt in pursuit of their inspired goal. This is stepping forward in faith. Even when they don’t know how exactly it’s going to happen, they are investing in themselves and moving forward anyway. Nonetheless, if they slowed down, they would realise, that what can happen is never as bad as they fear and the best that can happen is usually and often amazing.

Studying how the mind works can help you step forward into the freedom you desire instead of slipping back into your uncomfortable ‘comfort zone’.

What is the Conscious Mind?
It’s the thinking mind. It's awareness of your surroundings, your current thoughts, your emotions, the physical sensations in your body - whether you’re hungry, whether you’re tired and so on. It can accept, reject, and originate ideas. This is the part of the mind that allows you to originate and then accept or reject a goal.

What is the Subconscious Mind?
It’s the emotional part of you. It accepts everything you tell it. It holds memories, beliefs, fears, subjective experiences of reality. It holds information that is below your current awareness. It’s so powerful, that without your awareness, it steers the course of your life. It’s pretty much controlling every move you make. More importantly, it cannot differentiate between what’s real or imagined.

When you create a goal with your conscious mind and then you impregnate that idea in your subconscious mind as feelings, it accepts it as being true as of now. The subconscious mind determines the vibration that your body is in, which affects how you feel. A paradigm (thought patterns that determine your behaviour) is also ingrained in the subconscious mind.

Here’s an example to help you understand this.
All my life I grew up with little confidence in who I was and what I was all about, I was extremely timid, to say the least. I grew up with a feeling that other people were more important and I should put others before myself. Often giving more than I could was a set standard, at least it was for my programming. I felt a lot of uneasiness and a low-level dissatisfaction but as it was unconsciously ‘normal’, it felt familiar. That is until the anxiety began to affect my physical body in negative ways. I went to different therapists, had different treatments for years to try and understand what was happening to me because I was reacting to life in all sorts of ways. Years passed and then I found a lifeline, the ‘Thinking into Results’ programme - this brought me the answers I had been looking for all my life.

I began to let myself dream of things I had never dared to dream of before. Which is the premise of the programme. My goal was to be a confident, strong woman - to express myself and have a voice - I longed to be fearless. I began introducing a new type of thought and feelings. But for a long time I didn’t allow myself to reach into my subconscious mind with the goal I had set, I had closed my heart and feeling centre within, so the idea remained in my conscious mind for a while. Nothing would change in my life until I began to trust myself that it was right and allow. My heart was so sore from past pain and hurts and I had to learn to trust and open up to feelings again. I realise today because I had a closed heart that I was also very serious and sadly quite hardened and detached. When I was young I vowed to never feel again, but that didn’t work out because I never really connected to the right people after that. I took pride in knowing I couldn’t be hurt and that I was tough. I didn’t have to be a victim in any circumstance. But once I worked through my healing, I allowed this gradual opening I became alive with a passion I’d never felt before. For the first time, I had a thirst for my life and what was possible. Feeling everything was what life was trying to show me.

I began to impress the goal on my subconscious by enquiring and feeling “Who is this woman?” “What is her attitude to life?” “How is she not affected by circumstances and people?” Very gradually I started acting on my new idea and taking steps to change my behaviour. I became emotionally involved with this lovely idea of the new me. It did feel a little uncomfortable changing my behaviour because I always did as I was told - that was my programming. The paradigm was so strong, fear hit me strongly and warned me to get back in line and conform with supposedly authority figures….sadly that was my programming protecting me. As most people can relate to, there were major authority figures in my life growing up and that old story of knowing my small place came up again and again. So I trained my mind to change the story.

The fear had kicked off my sympathetic nervous system (the fight-or-flight system) and it went into overdrive. I was pumping adrenaline and my body started going crazy. I became fearful, and I started thinking, “Oh heck! What am I doing? This feels terrifying?”……just putting in boundaries and saying no was scary, but it felt liberating afterwards when I knew I had made it through the barrier. It was my choice and I could trust that now.

I didn’t have support, apart from my mentor in TIR. I didn’t feel I could turn to anyone as I feared they wouldn’t understand. But looking at it objectively if someone had told me they felt as I did, I would have told them they had to face their fears and keep pushing through. I was an adult now, but the fears were from my inner child. So I took my advice and faced my demons. I now had to deal with massive external conflict from people I considered to be close. They were used to having things their way and I was to blame for their dissatisfaction, but I stood strong and defended myself. Something I would never have done previously due to be scared of what they might do.

It was a very uncomfortable time. I was between a rock and a hard place, not knowing which way to go. My paradigm didn’t want to go ‘off-road’ into unknown territory and meet with conflict, it wanted me to stay safe in the familiar and accept the behaviour of others towards me. But I knew I wouldn’t have the self-respect by not speaking up for myself.

That’s what happens to everyone when we impress a new idea that takes us out of our comfort zone on the subconscious mind. We immediately start trying to figure out how we’re going to do it, we stay up at night not being able to sleep fretting the other shoe will drop. And even though most of us are learned, we’re reluctant to keep learning or keep moving so we can figure it out.

But the result is that we limit ourselves to what is already known and we set goals that we know we can achieve. For an easy life, we use pleasing methods to get to our goal. The thing is successful people don’t use pleasing methods, that’s what people who fail use. Successful people do the things that failures don’t like to do, these methods are awkward and uncomfortable, but they produce successful results. They do ‘the work’, they ‘get up’ and push on towards their highest standard of self-worth. They invest in themselves because they know that there are no shortcuts if you want a real solid successful set up for life.

Here’s some helpful knowledge
The next time you feel inspired by an idea that you wish for yourself or you want to change, instead of trying to figure out the ‘how’, consider the following:-

  • Recognise that you have simply introduced a new idea, that hasn’t yet solidified with the old idea of yourself.
  • Don’t allow the old stories to cripple you or keep you stuck/safe. Keep impressing the new goal into the subconscious mind with gratitude and faith.
  • Keep pushing on towards the unknown world that you first fell in love with.
  • Stay focused with blinkers on and don’t get distracted by the outside world…. Which will distract you!
  • Stay loyal to your heart.


Fear is normal and an essential component in your personal and professional growth
There are four psychological stages you go through when you’re dealing with the fear barrier:-

Stage 1 - Bondage
In bondage, you are receiving the same old status quo results you no longer want. The results are caused by the conditioning in the subconscious mind.

This stage is called “bondage” because even though you can originate ideas, you continue to create the same old thoughts patterns from the energy that flows into your conscious mind.

Stage 2 - Reason
On a conscious level, you create a shiny new goal, a new idea of living the life you want.

However, you continue to get the same old results and nothing changes. The results keep you where you are - because you are not internalising the new idea by acting on it. You have to believe in yourself that you can do it and that plenty of people have success and are doing it too!

You just think about the new idea on a conscious level, without getting emotionally involved with it and ingraining it in your subconscious mind.

Stage 3 - Conflict
It’s important to understand that the ideas you are emotionally involved with, control the vibration you are in. All emotions are energy. Energy moves, it has a vibrational frequency and energy forms and transforms. Conscious Vibration is related to our feelings.

At the moment, today's results are coming from doing things you know how to do. You feel comfortable in this vibration because you have been living with it every day, perhaps most of your life.

In the conflict stage, you don’t just think about it; you feel it and become emotionally involved with the new idea. This in turn brings you to believe in it and that catapults you to act upon the very thing you could only dream of.

The moment the new idea is impressed on the old conditioning, the electrical system in your body goes berserk and you feel awful - this is a chaotic vibration. Suddenly you feel worried, fear, and anxiety in your body. They hit you so hard that you feel like you’re free-falling. The new idea is pushing you ahead and old you is pulling you back to safety. The internal conflict is unbearable. You’re afraid to steam ahead, and you don’t want to go back, but you can’t stay where you are. You are in limbo, all you can think of is this ‘thing’, this heavy burden is taking up all your energy. You feel like you are falling to pieces.

You may quickly bounce off the fear barrier back to bondage and then rationalise to yourself why it’s a good place to be there. It’s comfortable… you are familiar with it… it will do. However, going ahead is the only way your life will improve as it’s the path to freedom. Unfortunately, not understanding what’s happening internally, causes you to retreat to familiar territory.

Stage 4 - Freedom
Understanding what’s happening allows you to see the truth and step onward into growth and freedom. Then doubt, fear, and anxiety have not fallen away. However, through knowledge or study, you know if you stay persistent with courage, it will leave. If you keep impressing the new idea or goal inside you, by feeling it and then acting on it - despite fear - over a short period, the conditioning changes and you are living in a new reality and freedom.


The choice is yours
When doubt, fear, and worry strike from you stepping out of your comfort zone, it may cause you to do what most people do. Which is a retreat to what you perceive as safety - the familiar. Unfortunately, that’s the most demoralising place to stay, because there’s no growth. And where there is no growth, there is only a dying dream and disintegration.

Change is constantly happening and decisions are always being made. You’re either moving forward towards improving your life, or you’re going in the opposite direction. Understanding what the fear barrier is and the internal conflict won’t make it go away. You have to understand what’s happening, apply your new knowledge and highest truth and then smash right through it with powerful faith. Anyone who has ever accomplished anything of any consequence has experienced the fear barrier. They have made a conscious decision to push through it. If you see this new idea for yourself, don’t mute it out. You may need to bring in the pain of what will happen if you don’t make a change. What do you see in one year if you don’t make a change? In five years? How are you going to feel at the end of your life, when you look over all the beautiful gifts and potentials that weren’t reached? When you’re looking over your life and for whatever you believe when meeting your creator - will you tell them that you didn’t get everything you needed in this life?….. We know that’s not true. You had a choice to take what was offered to you.

It’s a good idea if you can to surround yourself with people that will support you in where you want to go. Also, make sure you fill your world with all the good stuff in your life. Keep close all the accomplishments you’ve achieved and list them, keep listing them! So there’s no more room for the crappy stuff to rear its ugly head. Strength and self-love is what’s needed, so be gentle on yourself.

Please understand that encountering this fear barrier happens to many people, success is just on the other side. With sheer grit and determination, you’ve got this!

The next time the fear barrier comes up for you, decide you’re going to commit to smashing through it. Why let it control your life? Remember, YOU are the one with the power. You want your dream because you are meant to have it. I guarantee the rewards of pushing through the fear and beating your old conditioning will be truly wonderful.

Sending you powerful energy to keep surging forward!

“Faith and fear both demand that you believe in something you cannot see. It’s your choice.”
Bob Proctor

 

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