How to push through your fear barrier and out of your comfort zone.

surprise, smiley, oh

Identify and avoid barriers that will sabotage your success.

“Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words. Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions. Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits. Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character. Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny.”
Chinese proverb, author unknown

Science tells us that universal consciousness always wants to know more about itself and to express that. The only way it can do that is to have us keep learning and growing.

When you are stuck in a rut, settling for the status quo and not thriving in your life you can be sure that you’re not growing. Having a dream and a goal should point us in a direction towards something that you want. Your dream should not be something you settle for, or what you think you can achieve. Growth occurs when your fantasy lights you up inside and makes you feel alive!

Your dream or goal should cause you to:-

• Fall in love with it, even though you have NO IDEA how to get it! That doesn’t matter at this stage.

• Cause you to get up out of your mundane and stretch.

• Move you forwards with inspiration and a fire in your belly.

Most people when they come face to face with what they perceive as an impossible dream, their worry, doubt, anxiety and fear presents itself.

Often they aren’t used to thinking this way and this stirs up their emotions, which can turn into actions. But they let go of their dream and fall back into the familiar, safety and comfort zone. They’re afraid of what could happen to them, they’re afraid of dreaming in case they don’t have what it takes to succeed. They do this even though their comfort zone is incredibly UNCOMFORTABLE - hence wanting their dream and change so badly.

However, they could choose to push through the fear and doubt in pursuit of their inspired goal. This is stepping forward in faith. Even when they don’t know how exactly it’s going to happen, they are investing in themselves and moving forward anyway. Nonetheless, if they slowed down, they would realise, that what can happen is never as bad as they fear and the best that can happen is usually and often amazing.

Studying how the mind works can help you step forward into the freedom you desire instead of slipping back into your uncomfortable ‘comfort zone’.

What is the Conscious Mind?
It’s the thinking mind. It's awareness of your surroundings, your current thoughts, your emotions, the physical sensations in your body - whether you’re hungry, whether you’re tired and so on. It can accept, reject, and originate ideas. This is the part of the mind that allows you to originate and then accept or reject a goal.

What is the Subconscious Mind?
It’s the emotional part of you. It accepts everything you tell it. It holds memories, beliefs, fears, subjective experiences of reality. It holds information that is below your current awareness. It’s so powerful, that without your awareness, it steers the course of your life. It’s pretty much controlling every move you make. More importantly, it cannot differentiate between what’s real or imagined.

When you create a goal with your conscious mind and then you impregnate that idea in your subconscious mind as feelings, it accepts it as being true as of now. The subconscious mind determines the vibration that your body is in, which affects how you feel. A paradigm (thought patterns that determine your behaviour) is also ingrained in the subconscious mind.

Here’s an example to help you understand this.
All my life I grew up with little confidence in who I was and what I was all about, I was extremely timid, to say the least. I grew up with a feeling that other people were more important and I should put others before myself. Often giving more than I could was a set standard, at least it was for my programming. I felt a lot of uneasiness and a low-level dissatisfaction but as it was unconsciously ‘normal’, it felt familiar. That is until the anxiety began to affect my physical body in negative ways. I went to different therapists, had different treatments for years to try and understand what was happening to me because I was reacting to life in all sorts of ways. Years passed and then I found a lifeline, the ‘Thinking into Results’ programme - this brought me the answers I had been looking for all my life.

I began to let myself dream of things I had never dared to dream of before. Which is the premise of the programme. My goal was to be a confident, strong woman - to express myself and have a voice - I longed to be fearless. I began introducing a new type of thought and feelings. But for a long time I didn’t allow myself to reach into my subconscious mind with the goal I had set, I had closed my heart and feeling centre within, so the idea remained in my conscious mind for a while. Nothing would change in my life until I began to trust myself that it was right and allow. My heart was so sore from past pain and hurts and I had to learn to trust and open up to feelings again. I realise today because I had a closed heart that I was also very serious and sadly quite hardened and detached. When I was young I vowed to never feel again, but that didn’t work out because I never really connected to the right people after that. I took pride in knowing I couldn’t be hurt and that I was tough. I didn’t have to be a victim in any circumstance. But once I worked through my healing, I allowed this gradual opening I became alive with a passion I’d never felt before. For the first time, I had a thirst for my life and what was possible. Feeling everything was what life was trying to show me.

I began to impress the goal on my subconscious by enquiring and feeling “Who is this woman?” “What is her attitude to life?” “How is she not affected by circumstances and people?” Very gradually I started acting on my new idea and taking steps to change my behaviour. I became emotionally involved with this lovely idea of the new me. It did feel a little uncomfortable changing my behaviour because I always did as I was told - that was my programming. The paradigm was so strong, fear hit me strongly and warned me to get back in line and conform with supposedly authority figures….sadly that was my programming protecting me. As most people can relate to, there were major authority figures in my life growing up and that old story of knowing my small place came up again and again. So I trained my mind to change the story.

The fear had kicked off my sympathetic nervous system (the fight-or-flight system) and it went into overdrive. I was pumping adrenaline and my body started going crazy. I became fearful, and I started thinking, “Oh heck! What am I doing? This feels terrifying?”……just putting in boundaries and saying no was scary, but it felt liberating afterwards when I knew I had made it through the barrier. It was my choice and I could trust that now.

I didn’t have support, apart from my mentor in TIR. I didn’t feel I could turn to anyone as I feared they wouldn’t understand. But looking at it objectively if someone had told me they felt as I did, I would have told them they had to face their fears and keep pushing through. I was an adult now, but the fears were from my inner child. So I took my advice and faced my demons. I now had to deal with massive external conflict from people I considered to be close. They were used to having things their way and I was to blame for their dissatisfaction, but I stood strong and defended myself. Something I would never have done previously due to be scared of what they might do.

It was a very uncomfortable time. I was between a rock and a hard place, not knowing which way to go. My paradigm didn’t want to go ‘off-road’ into unknown territory and meet with conflict, it wanted me to stay safe in the familiar and accept the behaviour of others towards me. But I knew I wouldn’t have the self-respect by not speaking up for myself.

That’s what happens to everyone when we impress a new idea that takes us out of our comfort zone on the subconscious mind. We immediately start trying to figure out how we’re going to do it, we stay up at night not being able to sleep fretting the other shoe will drop. And even though most of us are learned, we’re reluctant to keep learning or keep moving so we can figure it out.

But the result is that we limit ourselves to what is already known and we set goals that we know we can achieve. For an easy life, we use pleasing methods to get to our goal. The thing is successful people don’t use pleasing methods, that’s what people who fail use. Successful people do the things that failures don’t like to do, these methods are awkward and uncomfortable, but they produce successful results. They do ‘the work’, they ‘get up’ and push on towards their highest standard of self-worth. They invest in themselves because they know that there are no shortcuts if you want a real solid successful set up for life.

Here’s some helpful knowledge
The next time you feel inspired by an idea that you wish for yourself or you want to change, instead of trying to figure out the ‘how’, consider the following:-

  • Recognise that you have simply introduced a new idea, that hasn’t yet solidified with the old idea of yourself.
  • Don’t allow the old stories to cripple you or keep you stuck/safe. Keep impressing the new goal into the subconscious mind with gratitude and faith.
  • Keep pushing on towards the unknown world that you first fell in love with.
  • Stay focused with blinkers on and don’t get distracted by the outside world…. Which will distract you!
  • Stay loyal to your heart.

Fear is normal and an essential component in your personal and professional growth
There are four psychological stages you go through when you’re dealing with the fear barrier:-

Stage 1 - Bondage
In bondage, you are receiving the same old status quo results you no longer want. The results are caused by the conditioning in the subconscious mind.

This stage is called “bondage” because even though you can originate ideas, you continue to create the same old thoughts patterns from the energy that flows into your conscious mind.

Stage 2 - Reason
On a conscious level, you create a shiny new goal, a new idea of living the life you want.

However, you continue to get the same old results and nothing changes. The results keep you where you are - because you are not internalising the new idea by acting on it. You have to believe in yourself that you can do it and that plenty of people have success and are doing it too!

You just think about the new idea on a conscious level, without getting emotionally involved with it and ingraining it in your subconscious mind.

Stage 3 - Conflict
It’s important to understand that the ideas you are emotionally involved with, control the vibration you are in. All emotions are energy. Energy moves, it has a vibrational frequency and energy forms and transforms. Conscious Vibration is related to our feelings.

At the moment, today's results are coming from doing things you know how to do. You feel comfortable in this vibration because you have been living with it every day, perhaps most of your life.

In the conflict stage, you don’t just think about it; you feel it and become emotionally involved with the new idea. This in turn brings you to believe in it and that catapults you to act upon the very thing you could only dream of.

The moment the new idea is impressed on the old conditioning, the electrical system in your body goes berserk and you feel awful - this is a chaotic vibration. Suddenly you feel worried, fear, and anxiety in your body. They hit you so hard that you feel like you’re free-falling. The new idea is pushing you ahead and old you is pulling you back to safety. The internal conflict is unbearable. You’re afraid to steam ahead, and you don’t want to go back, but you can’t stay where you are. You are in limbo, all you can think of is this ‘thing’, this heavy burden is taking up all your energy. You feel like you are falling to pieces.

You may quickly bounce off the fear barrier back to bondage and then rationalise to yourself why it’s a good place to be there. It’s comfortable… you are familiar with it… it will do. However, going ahead is the only way your life will improve as it’s the path to freedom. Unfortunately, not understanding what’s happening internally, causes you to retreat to familiar territory.

Stage 4 - Freedom
Understanding what’s happening allows you to see the truth and step onward into growth and freedom. Then doubt, fear, and anxiety have not fallen away. However, through knowledge or study, you know if you stay persistent with courage, it will leave. If you keep impressing the new idea or goal inside you, by feeling it and then acting on it - despite fear - over a short period, the conditioning changes and you are living in a new reality and freedom.

The choice is yours
When doubt, fear, and worry strike from you stepping out of your comfort zone, it may cause you to do what most people do. Which is a retreat to what you perceive as safety - the familiar. Unfortunately, that’s the most demoralising place to stay, because there’s no growth. And where there is no growth, there is only a dying dream and disintegration.

Change is constantly happening and decisions are always being made. You’re either moving forward towards improving your life, or you’re going in the opposite direction. Understanding what the fear barrier is and the internal conflict won’t make it go away. You have to understand what’s happening, apply your new knowledge and highest truth and then smash right through it with powerful faith. Anyone who has ever accomplished anything of any consequence has experienced the fear barrier. They have made a conscious decision to push through it. If you see this new idea for yourself, don’t mute it out. You may need to bring in the pain of what will happen if you don’t make a change. What do you see in one year if you don’t make a change? In five years? How are you going to feel at the end of your life, when you look over all the beautiful gifts and potentials that weren’t reached? When you’re looking over your life and for whatever you believe when meeting your creator - will you tell them that you didn’t get everything you needed in this life?….. We know that’s not true. You had a choice to take what was offered to you.

It’s a good idea if you can to surround yourself with people that will support you in where you want to go. Also, make sure you fill your world with all the good stuff in your life. Keep close all the accomplishments you’ve achieved and list them, keep listing them! So there’s no more room for the crappy stuff to rear its ugly head. Strength and self-love is what’s needed, so be gentle on yourself.

Please understand that encountering this fear barrier happens to many people, success is just on the other side. With sheer grit and determination, you’ve got this!

The next time the fear barrier comes up for you, decide you’re going to commit to smashing through it. Why let it control your life? Remember, YOU are the one with the power. You want your dream because you are meant to have it. I guarantee the rewards of pushing through the fear and beating your old conditioning will be truly wonderful.

Sending you powerful energy to keep surging forward!

“Faith and fear both demand that you believe in something you cannot see. It’s your choice.”
Bob Proctor


You are the most valuable person

leadership, qualities, martin luther king

Do you realise that you are the most important and valuable person in your world? Great leaders make other people feel valuable; but first, you ought to focus your energies on filling yourself up, from the inside.

An effective leader sets an example. They believe in themselves and move their lives in the direction of where they want to go. Before you take any action, do you think of who are you being? Are you in your most relaxed space and tuned to your highest vision? When you can lead yourself, the world becomes easy. When you come from a conscious state of mind you have to be more creative with your thinking. How do you communicate to get the result you want? As Wallace D. Wattle, author of the Science of Getting Rich says 'You have to do things in a certain way'. What does that mean? Well, it means rather than using the traditional automatic way of ‘effort’ . . . instead, relax and 'become' it. Then set your intention and see in your mind the outcome you wish, whilst consciously use your thoughts and feelings in your heart to bring it to you. What happens next is up to you and your allowing, it may come to you, or you may be inspired to take action.

Leading Myself

When I decided to lead myself I did the ‘work’. During the process, I became quite sensitive to everything internal and external. Becoming overly sensitive to a world is what happens when you're not connected to your power. It's similar to being thrown around like a ship in a fearsome storm. It doesn’t sound like fun but here’s the point; because I became more sensitive I also stopped ignoring what the real me wanted. One day I decided I wasn't going to ignore my body anymore. I didn't want to stuff down the hurt, anger and what had been crying out to be understood. That was a place where resentment and blame lay. It’s where feelings are ignored, forgotten and it makes us depressed and sick - and I mean with illness. I realised I am important enough to stand up for what I really want in this life. No longer will I go along with what’s expected of me and I will hold my ground if that is challenged. Something within me had risen like a phoenix from the flames and I was now making the best choices for my life. I understood at that moment that I had transformed from a person that went along with others wishes for an easy life, to someone who was now taking control of her life and moving forwards in the most inspiring way possible. Now, I began to value myself.

What is the difference between owning your potential and settling? You believe in yourself and your dream. You hold your course and focus on it every day. No matter what circumstances present themselves. But you have to understand, that there is something within you that is driving you forward and that the only thing that will go the distance is desire. If it’s ego and reaction, it’s fear-based. If it’s your heart and responding consciously, it’s love-based. Make decisions from the love of yourself and never forget that it's you living this life. Make that decision and trust that it will serve you well into the future. A decision made in the energy of love and desire takes on a momentum of its own that never gets old or weary.

Stay loyal to your heart and true to your best life imagined. What is your best life? What is your dream? What relationships do you want? Have fun with your dream - dream big! Be amused, let go of any seriousness. Go back to being a child and daydream again. Follow the dream that makes you light up and feel alive. When you visualise these things every day and persist, amazing things can and do happen. Stay conscious, stay high, find gratitude for something, keep focusing on your vision. Keep going.

It's a Decision of Encouragement

Putting off decisions means that you are in limbo and attached to your comfort zone, even when it’s uncomfortable! A comfort zone can be an easy ride, but nothing ever grows there. If you're going to bet on anything it should be on yourself. Before making a decision align yourself to your vision and its energy before taking any action. A decision made in fear will usually not go well, because it's not aligned to the true self. Our true self always wants what’s best for us and the greater good. Even when that decision can be the scariest moment in life. Imagine a win-win where everyone is happy. This is where faith comes in. When you can bet on who you are and what you’re all about, you will be proud, confident and be the leader of your life.

When you decide to change your life you become an authentic leader of yourself because you can now choose not to follow the old stories you used to tell yourself. When you appreciate yourself, you also find the good in others. What’s your attitude when you’re with people? Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have. Some people just have wounds. So let them off the hook, including yourself. This is about freeing up your energy so you can rise higher in your vibration. How often do you self criticise? Be effective and encourage yourself instead, start with the little things. “Wow, I handled that person so well. I'm so proud of myself!” “I’m going to eat well today” “I’m going to allow myself some fun today” - the tasks will still be there tomorrow and I'm you’re when you're in your last resting place, you won't be thinking “I wish I had done that better”? Or “I'm no good at this!”. Treat yourself as you would your most treasured person or possession.

Know what you are right now is the best you can be. Leaders create an environment that others want to follow. Are you an inspiration to people? Are you just good to be around without having to do anything for them? You’re unique, you have a unique vibe, so let it shine. When people are encouraged and inspired it catches them at their soul, they rest assured that they can be themselves - that’s effective leadership. I’ve worked with many people that think if they did encourage they would be taken advantage of - that’s fear-based thinking. Do not act in fear, it will never go well and people will wise up and walk away. Think of Nelson Mandela, he was a leader among leaders. He was one one of the most influential, courageous and profoundly good human beings in history. He had millions of followers and was widely respected for taking a strong stand against the giant world powers for his authentic benevolent negotiation skills and quintessential peacemaking. Mandela was one of the few leaders capable of inspiring confidence both inside and outside the country.

As you can see I am passionate about this subject. Leaders like Mandela, Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Abraham Lincoln the list goes on - they understood the human spirit and they understood there was a better way, believed in it and took action toward better results. They were a force for change - I find them so inspirational. We have to see fear for what it is, thank it and trust that with courage there can be great outcomes to be had beneath the chaos. Believe, with conviction, in yourself and take inspired action.

A little story about installing love ♡


Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

I love this story and thanks to Sheena Cantar for posting it on social media. I think it can put a spotlight on where we are being unkind to ourselves - which can be most of the time. It always makes me feel better 🙂


Technical Support: Good evening, how can I help you?

Customer: After mature consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Technical Support: Yes. Are you ready to begin?

Customer: Yes, I think I'm ready. What do I do?

Technical Support: The first step is to open your heart. Have you located your heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while driving? 

Technical Support: What programs are you running?

Customer: Let me see. I have the pain of the past, low self-esteem, grudge, bitterness and anger running right now.

Technical Support: No problem, Love will gradually delete pain of the past from your current operating system. It may stay in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disturb other programs. Love will gradually overwrite low self-esteem with one of its own modules called high self-esteem. But you have to turn off nag, bitterness and anger. Those programs prevent love from being installed correctly. Can you interrupt these programs?

Customer: I don't know how to interrupt them. Can you explain to me how?

Technical Support: With pleasure. Go out in the start menu and activate forgiveness. Do it as many times as necessary until nag, bitterness and anger are completely deleted from your system.

Customer: OK, it's done! Love is starting to install itself. Is that normal?

Technical Support: Yes, but remember that you only installed the base program. You need to connect with other hearts to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says ′′ Error - Programme does not run on external components." What should I do?

Technical Support: Calm down. This means that the Love program is set up to run on internal hearts, but it has not yet been run to your own heart. In non-technical terms, it just means you have to love yourself before you can love others.

Customer: So what should I do?

Technical Support: Choose Self Accept in the dropdown menu and click on the following files: Forgive yourself; Face Your Worth; and Recognize Your Limitations.

Customer: OK, it's done.

Technical Support: Now copy them to the folder ′′ My Heart ". The system will overwrite all conflict files and start repairing faulty programs. You also need to delete Self-criticism from all folders and empty trash to make sure it's completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Understood. But what's going on? My heart is filled with new files. Smile dances on my screen and Peace and Satisfaction copying itself all over my heart. Is that normal?

Technical Support: Sometimes. For some, it's a bit, but everyone achieves it when the time is ripe. So Love is now installed and runs. Just one more thing before we hang on. Love is Freeware. Remember to give it and its different modules to everyone you meet. They will share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you very much for your help.

Technical Support: You are welcome. I'm always here for you.

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